Now, I understand that many people are not comfortable about speaking and sometimes reading on subjects about race, ethnicity, or culture, but I think that it's time that I finally speak out... at least one bit at a time.
If you've seen pictures of my son, I'm sure you've noticed that the complexion of his skin is much lighter than mine. I don't care if you say that you are colorblind, even if you were colorblind, you would still be able to tell the distinct difference. So now that we have that part covered, I'll move on to the next fact, which is that the biological father or sperm donor, or whatever he is, is white, and I'm 'black' therefore my son is biracial.
Some days I go without thinking about how my son is biracial because no matter what, I love him, but then there are other days where I do think about it and it makes me feel all kinds of emotions that one of the main reasons why my son's father is not in his life is because of skin color differences. Although I love my brown-ness, the skin I am in...
Sometimes my six year old self wonders what it would be like if I could "pass". Would my son have a greater chance of knowing his family?
You're probably wondering how come I didn't know my Ex's family was kookoo. Let's just say they played it off well, until I became pregnant.
The outcome of becoming a single mother is far more complex than what many people from the outside perceive it to be. In this case, I'm faced up against race, money, and "power". Although this is a short entry today, I'll leave some people with this to think about...
Do not cross judgment on a single parent. As women who are single parents, trust me when I tell you, many of us have already owned up to our faults and have chosen to move forward in taking on the full responsibility from whatever the circumstance may have been.
It's so much easier and accessible to condemn a single mother since it's often times more obvious that as she pursues her role of being a nurturer, she is also attempting to fill in the shoes of an absent father, and is often times flooded with more responsibilities than the average individual. The weight that she carries is more transparent. This does not exclude single fathers, but that's for another day.
In a sense, I am really looking forward to sharing my experience and journey. Not for people to feel bad for me, not to be shamed, but to get it out there and move forward...Not to mention to approach the often times dismissed subject matter of "race" and "power".
I'm experiencing it first hand, and feel blessed to have had confirmation that I am not alone.
"But I say to you,
Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."